Seven Things To Throw On Mardi Gras Instead Of Beads
Mardi Gras…everyone’s favorite holiday. We throw cheap necklaces for a free show, and we eat a cake with a baby in it.
Who could ask for anything more?
We got to thinking… why beads? Aren’t there better things to throw?
Yes, yes there are.
Who doesn’t love slingin’ a good mud pie?
Never underestimate the power of liquid dirt. Will they flash their goods for it? Probably not, unless it’s Miss Piggy.
So this one may be a little far-fetched, because we hear that lava supplies are limited. And we suppose it might be difficult to throw without the right kind of gloves on.
But come on. Lava makes things so much hotter! Get it?
First of all, it’s easier to find than beads. Even the poorest of college kids have this stuff just laying around.
Second, who doesn’t love a good food fight? And unless there’s sauce on these noodles, they’re relatively easy to clean up.
Easier than lava, anyway.
Low cost, easy to make, fun to eat.
You can make shots with it, you can wrestle in it… when you think about it, Jello is a miracle food.
And all those thousands who’ll be lifting up their shirts on Mardi Gras? Probably used to being covered in Jello anyway.
Help send those sweet, shirt-lifting Mardi Gras students to college! You don’t want those ladies finding jobs at Coyote Ugly, do you?
Hard boiled, raw, scrambled… you name it. Eggs are always fun to throw. “Egging” is about as American as Ultimate Tazer Ball… it’s a favorite pastime that can surely translate to Mardi Gras.
By the way, we prefer them raw.
It seems like there’s never enough meat within arm’s reach when you’re throwing Mardi Gras beads. All we want is some pulled pork while we get flashed. Is that too much to ask?
So instead of beads, we vote to through BBQ. Because who doesn’t love a someone covered in meat?