Football season kicks off in just over a week, and if you’re also a wicked procrastinator, you haven’t decided on a team name yet.
The best names are both crushingly intimidating and so gut-wrenchingly hilarious, so obviously coming up with one can be a bit difficult sometimes, but don’t worry—I’m here to help.
Here are a few tips from around the web on the best ways to pick your fantasy team name, with a few options for even the laziest drafters.
Take Bleacher Report‘s advice when they say “The perfect fantasy football team name strikes a balance between wit and reach.” They suggest taking a well-established phrase or aphorism and injecting it with a “new” but fairly prominent player. For example, “Manziel In Distress” works well, because Manziel is a brand fresh but well-known draft, and “Damsel in Distress” is a classic phrase.
Try combining one prominent player with an inside joke. This one requires some creativity, but the result is glorious.
The writers from “The League” demonstrate this in GQ:
Jeff: There’s that old adage that your porn star name is your middle name and the street you grew up on—for fantasy football, the best team name is your friend’s most embarrassing moment and a player.
Jackie: The player pun is the classic. But it’s got to be a good one or it’s a copout.
Jeff: Like your Any Givens Sunday, or Multiple Goregasms, or, for Jadeveon Clowney, Insane Clowney Posse. That’s your basic run-of-the-mill pun football name. The player pun is the Adam Sandler movie of the team names: a lot of people do ’em, people seem to enjoy ’em, but you can probably do better. Then there’re ones that are super, super personal. The super personal ones maybe affect only one or two people that are in your group. And those are targeted lasers.
If all else fails, go with a sexual reference. Apparently, most people do. CBSSports took a survey of this year’s fantasy football team names, and as it appears, well over a third of the names connote general sexual reference.
If you’re not feeling the creative juices flow, you could always use a team name generator, like this one.
If you’re that lazy, just steal your team name.