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5 Episode Plotlines That Should Happen On The New ‘Full House’

By Alyssa Pereira

By now, you’ve definitely heard the news that ‘Full House‘ is making a triumphant return to television. It seems like these days, we just can’t let a good thing go, and the sitcom of our hearts is just too loved to release.

As you may be aware, the new rework of the show centers around D.J. (played by Candace Cameron Bure) and Kimmy (Andrea Barber) as adults. Danny Tanner, Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse will all be making guest appearances as well.

Naturally, the state of San Francisco has changed just a little since the show premiered in 1987, so standard sitcom storylines just aren’t going to work here. Assuming our characters haven’t moved out of the city (who in their right mind would have given up that Victorian??), we’re going to offer up a few episode plotlines taking into account the new city.

Episode #1: D.J., Steve and the two kids (the girl is named Pamela after D.J.’s mom, awwwww) head to a Giants game. A pop fly is headed straight for little Jack’s glove until a juiced out bro bumps him out of the way and steals his catch. Not cool, dude. Luckily, the big screen catches the whole thing on camera, and the whole gang gets to meet Buster Posey and Hunter Pence. But then 12-year-old Pamela makes off with Pence’s scooter. Hijinks ensue. All she wanted was some Bi Rite ice cream!

Episode #2: Concert talent booker Kimmy Gibbler and her fashion designer partner Luna are celebrating their 10 year anniversary with dinner at Zuni when Kimmy is distracted by an extraordinary busker outside playing the bass. She books him for a last minute show the next night, but he doesn’t show for his sound check. Uncle Jesse steps in — turns out he just had stage fright! Jesse and the busker, Herman, form a new psychedelic-grunge band, called Jesse and the Trippers, right there on the spot and play the Fillmore. They are a huge success. Herman still can’t afford the rent anywhere, but the episode just glosses over that.

Episode #3:  It’s Thanksgiving and the whole big family is coming over to the ole Tanner house for dinner. Jesse and Rebecca’s twins are now ennui-ridden kids who are bitter about living at home after graduating from U of Oregon. In protest, today they’re refusing to eat the turkey because they saw a documentary recently where…(everyone loses interest in what they’re saying until)…Uncle Joey volunteers to fetch some vegetarian food at Cha-Ya for them because “the seitan is so fleek.” Joey is bad at slang. He tries to take an Uber, but the hot Indian Summer sun creates a glare on his phone, so he doesn’t realize he’ll be charged surge pricing. His ride ends up costing $132.47, but his driver was just lonely on Thanksgiving that Joey invites him to dinner and the driver waives the fare. No one wants to eat the seitan.

Episode #4: Steve, the world’s biggest baseball fan, is so over his job and finds out a marketing position is open with the Giants. He goes in for his interview and utterly bombs it (although he thinks he’s aced it – LOL CLASSIC STEVE). However, his interviewer happens to catch him dancing it out upon leaving and instead offers him the job of playing Lou Seal. He takes it!

Episode #5: Luna’s chic Hayes Street boutique is financial trouble, and Kimmy wants to help her by putting on a concert party event thing to help save it. Danny hosts the event, Jesse and the Trippers perform, and even Nicky and Alex (played by Charlie and Max Carver) come out to premiere their new sketch video where they mock how long it takes to make a $14 cocktail in San Francisco. Famous people show up and it is saved! W. Kamau Bell and James Hetfield guest star.

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