Let’s talk about an adorable boy who just wants a good bottle of hand lotion. A father and his son were out in bad weather in New York after the blizzard, and a weather reporter approached them wanting to know why they were out in the freezing cold and um…this kid was really happy L’Occitane was open:
We’ve talked about this before. About how fast food restaurants are trying to step it up and change their image, becoming less like fast food and more like fast casual. Well in the UK, McDonalds will begin offering table service to make you feel way fancier about your bad food choices. Starting in February, “McWaiters” will serve diners their 3,000 calorie meals on wooden trays. They’re also introducing their new “signature collection” — a range of gourmet burgers comprised of brioche buns and thicker patties that have all been approved by Michelin-starred chefs.
It’s the latest epidemic; it’s the new Ebola and it’s super, super sad. Zika, the disease that causes babies to be born with underdeveloped brains, has gotten so bad that El Salvador is telling people to cease having babies for the next two years. It’s easier said than done, obviously. The first case of it has been confirmed in LA and Obama has declared immediate action be taken to find vaccines. The World Health Organization says the virus is likely to spread across nearly all of the Americas and what’s even worse, the symptoms are almost undedectable. It just starts with mild fever and headaches.
When your Uber driver isn’t following the recommended speed limits, it can be awesome or it can be terrifying. But Uber has found a way to monitor the speeds of all their drivers through their smartphone data. They can now look at each trip and check things like if the driver is checking their phone too much during the ride or how fast the driver is going. And they think this new system will help them figure out which drivers are being rated fairly and which ones are just getting judged on their bad personalities.
The website isabevigodadead.com finally had to update their page yesterday after learning that at the ripe old age of 94, Abe Vigoda died of old age. His role as Sal Tessio in Godfather, or Detective Fish on Barney Miller, his long ears and bushy eyebrows have touched the hearts of many. He became an online sensation when he was mistakenly reported dead some years back. As a result, he became famous just for being alive. He was a meme, a lyric in songs, a name of a band, and now a legend that has passed on.
The world is ending. And according to the doomsday clock, its ending faster than ever. The clock that determines how long we have until the end of the world will stay at three minutes to midnight. The closer it gets to midnight, the closer we are to imminent death. Things like climate change, the possibility of nuclear war cause it to change or not change.
After all the dildos and all the lube, the situation in Oregon has come to a close, sort of. Police encountered several of the occupiers at a traffic stop, the standoff got violent and resulted in gunfire, one of the protesters was killed and five were arrested including Ammon Bundy, their ring leader. Now, there are still some leftover occupiers and they continue to release videos saying they will not back down and are willing to die for their cause, but a raid is probably in the near future.
Meanwhile, in Pacifica, people’s houses are about to fall off of a cliff. While it’s lovely to have a house with a seaside view, you do run the risk of that seaside view crumbling underneath you. Erosion has caused the cliffside to deteriorate, and over the last few days moving vans have been helping people evacuate. However, a few people know a good thing when they’ve got it, and they don’t want to leave. They’re being told its an emergency evacuation but they will kindly ignore that and stay as long as they possible can.
And here’s one more story about a bull semen heist. Enjoy: