Alright, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re in love and a fan of heartburn, I have the perfect answer for you: valentines KFC table service. You can sit down at a table in a KFC establishment and given linen linen napkins, flowers, a silver candelabra, table service (with your giant bucket of chicken served on a little raised stand) and even your very own soft drink sommelier to recommend the perfect soft drink to go with your choice of sides. It sounds ridiculous, yes. But considering we’ll spend roughly $19 billion dollars in Valentine’s day this year ($4 billion more than we spend for the Super Bowl) this might be an option worth looking at.
First, God created tiny dogs. Then we bred them to be even tinier so they could fit in our purses. Then we created micro-pigs, and now in the latest trend in tiny domesticated animals: thumb monkeys! I know it’s not as cute and cuddly as the tree lobster, which the San Diego Zoo has just brought back from near extinction, but it will have to do. This wasn’t man-made. It’s a pygmy marmoset that exists in the wild, but now people are buying them illegally for thousands of dollars. It is smaller than a hamster and only weighs about five ounces. And…it wraps perfectly around your thumb! Very Instagram-worthy. Mainly the 1%ers in China are kicking this off, but I’m sure we’ll see more thumb monkeys in the States in no time.
I don’t want to crush anyone’s dreams, but you’re probably not going to win a Grammy anytime soon (unless you’re Taylor Swift, in which case, hi). But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know what it feels like to stand up onstage and receive the most respected award in the music industry. I guess that’s why this year they’re putting tiny cameras inside the Grammy awards so you can look out onto the audience from the perspective of the winning artist. It’s a simplified version of a GoPro and is being placed inside the base of the Grammy statuette. It will now be known as the “GrammyCam.” But when will the camera feed stop? Will we then get to see Taylor Swift forgetting her Grammy in the bathroom, or see the inside of Florence’s house when she places it in her bathroom? We’ll have to see just how far it goes.
A dyslexic employee has just won a lawsuit against Starbucks for discrimination. And I know, you’re wondering which dyslexic employee? Aren’t they all dyslexic? From the way they spell even basic names like Jessica, you’d think it’s part of their hiring criteria. But this woman was accused of fraud by Starbucks now when she screwed up someone’s name, when she recorded inaccurate temperatures of the water and fridge in her location. She tried to tell them she only screwed the numbers up because of her condition, but Starbucks wouldn’t believe her. But she got her day in court and Starbucks is now being punished for discriminating her. But they’re not too upset, because she thinks she’s been awarded $000001 dollars.
Do you really enjoy the new show you’re watching? The BBC wants to know. But they don’t want you to fill out a survey or track what shows you watch, they want to take it a step further with emotion trackers that scan your face and find out how you really feel about Downton Abbey. The aim is for it to track whatever subconscious attachment you may have to the shows you watch. Right now it tracks sadness, puzzlement, happiness, fear, rejection and surprise. For me, pretty much every show on Bravo will give me feelings of sadness and puzzlement, but this technology is starting in the UK first, and it’s proving to be very successful.
We get horrible reviews for the is show on a daily basis, but we don’t claim to be Michelin-star radio. This chef on the other hand is a Michelin-star chef and was not thrilled when he received a one-star review of his restaurant Purnell’s, a fine dining establishment in England. The reviewer rambled on and on about how small the portions were compared to prices, that it was immoral, disgraceful, and that the chef should tune into MasterChef to take notes on how food should be served. They were appalled that the six course tasting menu only consisted of a couple bites of food, and you guessed it, they were there on a voucher. The chef, who has been cooking professionally since the age of 14, decided to issue a personal response. He said this reviewer never gave any indication they were dissatisfied when they were actually IN the restaurant, and that perhaps they would be more satisfied watching Man Vs Food. See the full reviews:
Here’s a new trend geared toward thick-necked people like me: neck contouring. If you have a new updo you’ve been wanting to try out but are embarrassed by your fat neck, just use makeup to contour the back of your neck and make it look sleek and sexy. It’s not enough anymore to wear makeup on your face. It now needs to translate to your entire head, neck and all. Just paint the sides of your neck with a dark bronzer and fill the middle in with a light foundation and blend, blend, blend. Never mind that you can’t see what you’re doing or that you’re likely going to have makeup all over your shirt, it’s still better than looking like the hulk.
Would you date a bisexual woman? Most men will say yes. Some lesbians will say no. But regardless, bisexual women have it pretty good in the dating world. Bisexual men on the other hand have a tougher time, and a recent study on sexuality showed that 63% of women said they would not date a man if he has slept with another man. Meanwhile, 47 percent of women say they’ve been attracted to another woman, and of that group, 31 percent have had a sexual experience with another woman. Also, only 3 percent ranked sex as the most important aspect of a relationship.