Everyone needs a little pick me up in the morning. Some people main line coffee all morning, some drink flavored Rockstar, some use illegal drugs (in which case, get some help.) But there’s a new way: absorbing caffeine through your skin by means of yet another bracelet. It’s called Joule, it’s doing very well on Kickstarter, and it promises you’ll get all the benefits of coffee and none of the negative, like that coffee crash or your stank coffee breath. One bracelet with 30 caffeine patches costs less than $30, which is less than a cup of coffee a day. But with this bracelet, the FitBit, the Apple Watch, and the mood tracking bracelets we’ll be wearing so many it will feel like the 90’s all over again.
Don’t you hate it when you’re on your way to work and all of a sudden you’re caught in traffic because a giant triceratops is in the road? (If I had a nickel, right?) It seems like stealing large dinosaur statues is becoming a thing now, because we heard of a large Brontosaurus statue was taken from the Haight a couple weeks ago, and now in an another part of the world someone has stolen a Triceratops and placed it right in the middle of the road as part of a prank. The 25-foot long plastic dino was taken from a novelty shop that sells prehistoric gems and fossils, and the owner said whoever did this must have had a LOT of help. He said it takes at least five people to even move it. But for these guy, it was worth it to see drivers come to a stop and think for a second that they wandered onto a Jurassic Park set.
It seems like after every awards show these days it’s followed up with a report about viewership being the lowest it’s ever been. And the Grammy’s are no different. The amount of people who watched on Monday night is down 9.4% and the ratings are the lowest they’ve been since 2009. Which isn’t that surprising given many people are live streaming these days and those number were up 247%. But even the world’s best recording artists were subject to the pain we feel when it comes to the CBS budget. Backstage the meal provided consisted of Egg McMuffins, hashbrowns and light beer served in red solo cups. This explains that solo cup that Dave Grohl was rocking in his seat during the show. But it seems like he was the only one to indulge in the spread.
Ronda Rousey seems comfortable opening up in the presence of lesbians. Not this lesbian, but she did reveal some very personal details when she was interviewed on the Ellen show. She revealed that she was so depressed after losing to Holly Holm that she contemplated suicide. Ronda showing any emotion other than an angry smolder is going to make the news, so the video of her crying while telling her story is going quite viral. My favorite is the moment where she starts crying and you can see Ellen’s eyes light up over the huge ratings spike she’s about to get. I could just see in her eyes “YES. CRY! CRY! Your tears will buy my next house!”
The ground was shaking in Fresno yesterday, and it wasn’t because of its overweight residents. There was an earthquake, and it was a ‘big un.’ It was originally recorded as a 5.3, but was downgraded to a 4.8 magnitute. It also set off four aftershocks, all of which were around 2.5 on the scale. No damage or injuries were reported, but the big one is coming and thankfully there’s a new app to help warn you when it’s on its way. The “MyShake” app claims it will feel an earthquake before its coming and send an alert to scientists, all without draining your battery life. Just running this app will make you part of the earthquake early warning system.
There’s nothing like smoking a good joint near a middle school. We’ve all had our moments of enjoying weed in school zones, but you probably shouldn’t do that if you’re a parent dropping your kid off at school. But these parents did it. In fact, they did it so much that it warranted a letter from the school telling them to stop. They were seen by multiple other people using cannabis as they dropped their kids off at their primary school. It was noticed by other parents and by older children at the school, who I’m sure are now telling this kid he has the best parents ever. They’ve now been asked to set a better example for the kids…
There are politicians and CEO’s that do boring AMA’s all the time, but it never seems to be someone you actually want to ask questions to, with the exception of the bionic penis guy. But now the time has come for the best AMA of all: Homer Simpson. The Homer Simpson will appear live on television after their new episode airs May 15th, and will talk about topical news and answer questions on social media. He will be live for three minutes. But how can a cartoon be live? They’re using motion capture technology where the actor will be responding as Homer and motion capture technology will translate his movements into animation right then and there. Get your questions ready.
Sure, you love a good slice of pizza. But if you love pizza that much, you shouldn’t be living in the great state of California. In fact, according to new statistics you should be living in Nevada. That’s right, Nevada is in the top five places to live if you are a pizza lover. California was in the BOTTOM TEN. Looks