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Still Haven’t Seen The Oscar Films? Kevin Klein Live Breaks Them All Down In Haiku Form

Face it. You don’t have the patience for long-winded reviews. And who has time to see all these movies? That’s why Kevin Klein Live breaks them all down for you in Haiku form.

 

Bridge of Spies
Tom Hanks reminds us
“There’s no spying in baseball!”
Or Russia. The end.
The Revenant
Nice to see Leo
Inside of a bear, instead
of a model.
Spotlight                                                     Spotlight
Boys will be boys and                                  Fast Newsroom talking!
Priests will be priests, A rom com?             I can’t keep up. I think it
Definitely Not.                                              Was about trench coats.
The Big Short                                            The Big Short
Shockingly this film                                      Let me get a loan
doesn’t start the actual                                On a better movie. I’ll
Big Short, Kevin Hart.                                  Pay back, with interest.
Room                                                         Room
Someone Finally made                               If my mom was Brie
A movie about Craigslist                             Larson. I wouldn’t want to
Also cute lil girl.                                           Leave the room either.
The Martian
Home Alone on Mars
Will he make it back to earth?
Spoiler Alert. Yes.
Brooklyn
Is this a movie?
Or a staring contest? If
That’s the case, I win.
Mad Max: Fury Road
Much better than the
Lesser known Sad Max. Lots of
Crying and ice cream.
..
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