The results of Super Tuesday are here to tell you America loves women and kicking people out of the country. Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump had huge wins yesterday and they are each seven states closer to clinching the presidential nomination. If these are our candidates, the election will be one hell of a bloodbath. And how is America reacting? Well, Google searches on how to move to Canada spiked over 1,000%. ‘Moving to Canada’ was up 110%, and ‘can I move to Canada’ was up 90%. Many of these inquiries were coming from Massachusetts, where Trump won by a landslide at 49%. The Canadian Government’s website even had an error message on it, saying they’ve been experiencing longer than normal delays. So, if Trump is in fact elected, there might not be an America to make great again.
At McDonald’s, the days of a simple bugs bunny action figure in your happy meal are long gone. What are kids gonna do with that these days? They need way more stimulation, and that’s why McDonalds is stepping up their happy meal game with VR goggles. Actually, they’re called Happy Goggles, and your kid can now shove their faces into them after they shove chicken nuggets in their mouths. Kids can build the Happy Goggles out of the happy meal box itself, shove in the provided lenses, then shove their phones into it and boom, they’re occupied for at least ten minutes.
Everyone knows teachers love a good prank, whether it makes them crap themselves in the middle of a quiz, nearly choke to death on red pepper flakes, or just bleed from the butt after your student puts thumb tacks on the bottom of your seat. But this student prank has forced a teacher to resign after a student stole her phone and shared nude photos she used to send to her husband. She’s a mechatronics teacher (???), and she claims she took the partially nude pictures to send to her husband on Valentine’s Day. But one of her 16 year-old students decided the world needed to see those and he shared them with other students and on social media. The school then told her she could either resign or be terminated, and now other students are petitioning for her to get her job back (brown nosers).
This is a warning to Kevin and anyone else carseat shopping in the near future. A company called Evenflo makes a great 3 in 1 carseat. The problem with it is that it’s really easy for the child in the carseat to loosen the straps and get out of it while the car is in motion. As a result, they’ve issued a voluntary recall on 56,000 of their carseats. Thankfully no injuries have been reported yet. I guess no children have met the challenge of loosening straps and getting out of their own carseats. But parents who already have this carseat can get a new and improved one or pick up a repair kit. But if you’re the type of parent who can’t even change a lightbulb, I would trust the professionals on this one.
Ok, you check into your Airbnb in Paris, everything is going great. You check out the room, the house, the garden in the backyard. And as you’re standing in the garden you think to yourself “those Azaleas smell funny.” You get a little closer only to discover those aren’t Azaleas, it’s a rotting corpse. A group of people rented a place in Paris for the weekend only to be horrified when they discovered a woman’s body in the owner’s garden that was covered by tree branches and looked to have been deliberately placed there. Police have been investigating and think the body has been there for roughly a month. The owners of the house are expected to return today, and they will then be questioned by the cops. In the meantime, pool party!
Google is making big things in Silicon Valley. When they’re not crashing robot cars they’re making even more important inventions, like robot dogs. It doesn’t have fur just yet. Just a bunch of metal. But it is named Spot and it prances, crouches, and runs like a real…ly robotic dog. They even got it to “play” with a real dog in a parking lot. The real dog enjoyed this just as much as you’d expect, here’s its reaction to a giant metal headless dog trying to play with it:
Yet another Yelp employee is claiming she was wrongfully fired. She’s a single mom and she has spoken out because she was fired for leaving work to visit her boyfriend who was in the hospital with a brain bleed. She has written a letter addressing our friend Talia Jane, saying: I am the single mother #Yelp just fired for asking for an unpaid 3 day leave of absence to care for my boyfriend in the ICU. She claims she was in the ICU when her manager called saying you need to come in or resign. When she asked for a little time given the traumatic situation, she claims they responded telling her she needs to make a decision by noon or be terminated. Looks like we’ve got another person to hire for our traffic reports!
If you’re one of the select few who remember the Nickelodeon show Legends of the Hidden Temple, I have good news for you. The show isn’t coming back, but you will be able to see the Blue Barracudas, the Silver Snakes, and the good old Orange Iguanas will all be back in the form of a live-action TV movie. We’ll once again be able to enjoy the thrills of watching people assemble a silver monkey and jump from room to room of Olmec’s and his grandiose temple. And if that doesn’t cure your nostalgia, you can also look forward to a two-part TV movie version of Hey Arnold!
There’s no doubt that In n Out Burger is doing very very well, and has been for a long while now. No one can resist a double-double animal style. But In N Out wants to make it clearer just what a hamburger is all about. They’re changing their menu to include beef that is not treated with antibiotics. They’ve asked their suppliers to speed up the process in finding alternatives so they can make their meat even better, if that’s possible. But the antibiotics get rid of bacteria, which brings us back to the Chipotle problem. When you mass produce fresh foods, there is a higher risk of salmonella, so hopefully In N Out won’t get stuck in that rabbit hole.