If you haven’t gotten a Super Bowl souvenir yet, here’s the souvenir to end all souvenirs. After all, who hasn’t been yearning for a twelve-foot tall golden 50 sculpture? This giant 50 was prominently displayed at Super Bowl city and was the backdrop for countless selfies, and now it can be yours, because they just put it up for sale. They acknowledge this is kind of a weird item and inconvenient considering it takes a giant moving truck to transport it. It doesn’t have a set price yet, because I guess they’re gonna get a feel first for the swarms of people who are interested in this thing. But if your dad’s 50th birthday is coming up, or if you want to make sure no one skips your street address ever again, look into it.
If you’ve already got your Coachella tickets, the next step is figuring out how to get there. Uber has been on the forefront of Coachella by setting up carpools and giving people flat rates to Indio in years past. They even started taking people there in Uber Helicopters, which many weren’t sure would take off but instead of nixing it this year they’ve taken it a giant step forward by partnering with the company Blade to offer helicopter rides to Coachella. Or as I would like to call them: Coachellacopters. It’s a bargain at $4,000 from LA to Indio, and it even seats up to six people which ends up being under $700 per person. And if you don’t want to copter back from Coachella they’ll give you the discounted Uber rate to and from the airport.
With dogs, homeless people and drunkies all over San Francisco, walking down the street is like walking in a mine field. Dog crap in general is quite an issue here and all over the country. Some cities have started placing orange stakes in areas where there are too many dog droppings, just to show owners how bad it’s getting. Now, another city is cracking down with DNA testing. An apartment complex in Chicago has had it with the mine fields of poop, so from now on every resident with a dog must swab their pet’s saliva, turn it over to the offices where it will then be added to their system. When poop is left on their grounds, they will take a sample and test it to trace it back to the irresponsible owner. The resident will then be fined $250.
Who would you trust with your life? A 20 year-old lifeguard, or Hugh Jackman? Well I for one would trust Wolverine with my life any day, and thankfully he was at the right place at the right time when he rescued several people from a vicious riptide at a beach in Sidney. Several swimmers including his teenage son Oscar were caught in a current that was so strong lifeguards had to rescue people all day long at at one point close the beach down because it was too dangerous. Video footage of Hugh dragging a man and a daughter back to safety has been proving to everyone that if you’re gonna almost die, be rescued by someone really hot and famous. So whether the Earth is trying to kill us with hybrid animals or by just swallowing us whole, it’s good to know that Wolverine is there to protect us.
Believe it or not, airline employees are just like real people. They try to smuggle cocaine and run brothels just like everybody else. And now just weeks after an American Airlines flight attendant tried to start a fire in the lavatory, an American Airlines pilot failed a breathalyzer test while on the tarmac waiting to take off on his flight from Detroit to Philly. Being drunk and flying a plane sure is a lot classier when Denzel Washington does it while crash-landing a plane upside down. In real life, it’s someone off-putting and also annoying that your flight has to be cancelled because your pilot is drunk. To be fair, the flight probably would have been cancelled anyway, but nonetheless it’s not great when you’re in the boarding area only to look out the window and see your pilot being arrested after failing TWO sobriety tests. On the bright side, every passenger got to finish their tacos.
Cats have nine lives. One for each day they get stuck in a box in the mail. When cats aren’t trying to kill their catlady owners, they’re hiding from them in various closets and boxes and when a catlady isn’t paying attention, she accidentally mails her own cat. That’s what happened a catlady by the name of Julie Baggot, who was packing up a box of DVD’s and didn’t see that her cat Cupcake was taking a little nap in there. So she just closed the box on up and mailed it out and Cupcake took and 8 journey into darkness. Cupcake traveled 260 miles to the people who purchased Julie’s DVD’s, and they were surprised to open the package and see a scared, nervous and severely dehydrated cupcake sitting in their box. She survived thankfully, but the sad ending is that she had to go back to Julie Baggot. She was sent back via express shipping.
The Playboy mansion was put up for sale months ago for $200 million dollars, and still there have been no takers despite the bonus of Hef living there with you until he dies. Now it seems selling their assets has gone to the next level as they have just announced they’re selling Playboy magazine, the media company including its website, the mansion, licensing deals and more. They’re selling all of this for the low low price of $500 million dollars. Apparently putting the mansion up for sale was partly to see if anyone would be interesting in taking over the entire company. Once they saw interest from several investors, they decided to go for it.
We’re all going to die. That’s the truth. And death charts are here to help us stress about just how we’re going to die based on our age groups. The CDC just released a new interactive chart so let’s break some of this down: If you’re between 1 and 44 years of age, the leading cause of death for you is unintentional injury. Above cancer, heart disease, and suicide, they’ve figured out what will probably kill us all. What kind of unintentional accidents are these? Well, that also depends on your age group. If you’re between the ages of 25 and 44, it’s unintentional poisoning. This does include drug overdoses, so that makes sense. And at the top of the list for the 5-24 range is unintentional MV traffic, meaning car accidents. So there’s your Monday motivation everyone!
And our pal Matt Stoney can’t let a holiday pass by without setting another world record. and he just broke his own previous record by downing 200 Peeps in a little more than 14 minutes, doubling his previous record. In the process, he swallowed about 5,600 calories worth of the bird-shaped marshmallows, or 1,360 grams of sugar. WATCH: