BART has many improvements to make, especially with the thousands & thousands of people being forced to commute into the city because their rent has increased 4000%. But even though they’re busy, they had plenty of time to start a haiku battle on Twitter with the LA Metro. Because even trains have a NorCal/SoCal rivalry. Screw the Dodgers and the Giants, this is where the real excitement is. BART began the challenge, and LA Metro seared us with some good ones.
But BART came back with this gem:
From there, the hits kept coming. BART tweeted about there being no Metro trains at LAX. The Metro responded saying at least their trains don’t stink, and in the end they agreed to meet in the middle in Coalinga. So it ended amicably. I know everyone was on the edge of their seat.
As you know I have pitched adding a third to my relationship for quite some time. And I really don’t think it’s going to happen. And I promise Trendasaurus is the one who brought this story to the table, not me. Polyamory is likely to be the future of love. Being in a relationship with more than one person is being adopted all over the world. In fact, the way we frown upon it in America puts us in the minority, because 85% of the entire world widely accepts polyamorous relationships. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, there are bad poly situations out there where people getting married to 7 women who are all 15 years old, but in this case we’re talking abut consenting adults and the consensus is, if you can make it work, it can actually make all your other relationships a lot better. In general, polyamorous people tend to maintain more friendships as they keep a wider social network. They are also less likely to cut off contact after a break-up. Monogamous couples on the other hand, often withdraw from their friends in the first, loved-up stages of their relationship.
I hate to bring up basketball again, but we must mention the twelve men selected for the Olympic roster, which was announced yesterday. We already knew Steph Curry would not be participating. He announced a while back that he would rather rest up and do us proud next season. Then, right after winning the championship, Lebron James decided he needed some rest as well or just needed the entire off season to cry about his trophy. But there are some Warriors representing the US this year: Klay Thompson, Draymond Green and Harrison Barnes all made the team as well as Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving and Demarcus Cousins. BUT, I know the roster we were all waiting for. Team USA for women’s basketball!! And I’m happy to announce that Tamika Catchings, Sue Bird and Diana Taurasi all made the cut! Also on the team is infamous lesbian Brittany Griner, which ensures the women’s basketball team will also win the world muff diving championship. Congrats!
Yes, Brexit affects us all. Or at least those who know what the hell it is. Or at least rich people. But for everyone else, let me just tell you what you really want to know: Britain exiting the European Union will have little to no effect on Game of Thrones. HBO made a statement saying they do not anticipate the EU Referendum will have any material effect on the production of Game of Thrones. With the average episode costing $6 million dollars to make, people feared the show would suffer because they would no longer receive the tax credits usually given to shows filming in the EU. But apparently they don’t need that fund, so they aren’t concerned about it disappearing. So, Game of Thrones won’t be affected, but Texas is very affected by all this in that it has reminded them that they don’t want to be a part of the US. So Brexit caused the trending hashtag #texit this weekend, and a petition for Texas to secede from the US has been started for the millionth time. But just to give you an idea, the petition for another vote in the UK has been signed by 4 million people, and the Texas petition has been signed by 200,000 people.
North, South, at least we’re all in California and we have one thing in common. We all love to smoke weed. But I’m disappointed in all of you, because in this list of states who smoke the most weed in the nation, we didn’t even place in the top ten. This might be a situation where the middle of California screws things up for the entire state, but regardless we need to step up our game. The state with the most weed-smoking in all of America was of course Colorado with 21% of the population dabbing it out on a daily basis. Oregon and Vermont weren’t far behind, and Alaska & Washington tied for 4th place with 19% potheads. Of course, we can expect states like Colorado to be high on the list because it’s 100% legal to be high all the time. But states like Rhode Island, Maine and New Mexico also made the list, which is surprising. Maybe there just isn’t a lot to do in those states which is why people sit around and get high. Regardless, we need to be higher than all of these states, and I happily volunteer to spearhead this movement.
If you were one of the millions of people who received a free voucher from Ticketmaster after the settlement of their class action lawsuit, you might be a little frustrated right now. They promised $10 million dollars in free vouchers to customers after being outed for overcharging people with their deceptive and excessive fees. After the settlement, customers received vouchers which they could use on tickets to the show of their choice. Many got on the website hoping for tickets to Beyonce, but the only options available were crappy tribute and cover bands. Because people didn’t want to waste a voucher on seeing The Molly Ringwalds, they vented their frustrations. Others were less than thrilled over seeing the ACDC cover band Back in Black, either. Some people couldn’t redeem their vouchers at all because they lived in one of the 24 states where Ticketmaster had no shows happening. Any shows that were even remotely decent were already filled up, but Ticketmaster has responded saying they’ll release more tickets for the shows that people actually care about.
You can rent anything these days (just not an apartment in SF). But you can rent cars, bikes, dogs, cats, dates, and now you can even rent friends. Much like the women we talked to around the time of the Super Bowl who advertised paid companionship, the rent a friend business is booming in Japan, and companies offering these services are popping up all over the place. The rent-a-friend workers are both male and female and say they meet all kinds of clients. Widowers who need someone to watch TV with. Shy guys who could use a dating coach. Or lonely women who are just longing for a shopping companion. Some people just want you to wait in line for a new pair of Nikes. Regardless, there are two rules: No romance. No lending money. But satisfied customers say they don’t need any of that, and that it’s rewarding enough to be able to talk about things they don’t normally talk about with family and friends. And all over some yummy sushi!