Do you post your workout videos on Facebook? If you do, I’ve got news for you: Science says you’re a huge narcissist (and also you look fat in that shirt.) According to a team of researchers at a University in London, people who post constantly about their workout regimens and daily diets are totally self-obsessed, and all they want is for their friends to tell them how inspiring they are. And by inspiring they mean annoying. This research also found that people who constantly post about their relationships online have low-self esteem. Do you ever look at those couples and wonder if they’re truly happy or if they’re just trying to make it seem that way? Well, happy or not, they’ve got something to prove. And you’re the lucky Facebook friend they get to prove it to! So there you go, just another research study to make us all wonder why we waste our time on social media.
I never thought I’d say this, but the Pope has totally one-upped us. And let’s hand it to the guy, he’s done a lot more for humanity than we have. But we do lots of charitable work on our show. We’ve raised all kinds of money for the Sleeptrain Foster Kids program, we allow people who haven’t eaten in a while to review some of the hottest new foods hitting the market, and we hired Useless Weirdo to do traffic. But the Pope is taking it a step above by throwing a pizza party on the beach with the homeless. WTF?! He will be taking dozens of homeless Romans for a dip in a nearby beach where the church will supply all the bathing suits and towels. They can take a day off from their busy schedules, sunbath for a while and then Pope Francis will take them to a delicious pizza place for some fine cuisine. They will even transport them via van, which will be driven by monsignor Konrad Krajewski.
Well, we lost another legend this weekend. One that many Star Wars fans have kept near and dear to their asthmatic hearts for years. Kenny Baker, the man who played R2D2 in the original Star Wars has left us at 81 years of age, which is ancient for a little man. He was 3 ft 8 inches tall and wasn’t even expected to live past his teen years, but he overcame the odds and lived a very long life for someone of his stature. I will freely admit I had no idea there was an actual person inside of that thing, and I wonder how many people lied and said they were the man behind the metal. But according to co-stars, Kenny was one-of-a-kind. He always made people laugh and was a real gentleman. So #RIPR2, you will be missed. Now that I know you exist…
It was another very eventful weekend in Rio as the Olympic games continued with track & field, more swimming and more robberies. Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte claims he was held up at gunpoint, but if you’re like me you think he’s probably just lying to get attention because he’s trying to get out of Michael Phelps’s shadow. But did you also know that when you win a gold medal, what you’re really winning is an alloy of silver and copper? Yes, we’ve all been lied to when it comes to the value of a gold medal. It turns out gold medals are not worth thousands of dollars. In fact, they’re worth $587. Of course, on top of winning a (non)gold medal you also have to pay taxes on it. On top of being taxed for the medal itself, each medalist receives money that they must pay taxes on. Medalists are awarded $25,000 for gold, $15,000 for silver and $10,000 for bronze, all of which come with a hefty tax. But you know who won’t have to worry about any of this? This chick:
Here’s another story that will make you want to get off of social media. It’s an old-fashioned story of love. The story of old-school bathroom love with a very happy ending. Before the creation of Tinder, people would meet each other in person, usually either at a bar or a Barnes & Noble bookstore (..just me?). Back then, the only was to advertise being single was through personals ads or writing your information on a bathroom stall. And in this case, one trucker and a legal secretary named Donna have found everlasting love. This story begins with a breakup, because apparently the woman’s ex-boyfriend was scorned and angry, and decided to lash out by writing her number on the inside of a stall at a truck stop: “for a good shag, call Donna…” And lo and behold, one lonely trucker saw this and reached out. He texted “hi, what are you up to?” and the rest is history. They started dating, they now have kids together, and the kids have no idea how they met. See? Who needs Tinder when you have bathrooms!