Everyone remembers that one time when they accidentally had too much of a pot brownie, or just smoked too much in general. You might have gotten paranoid, peed your pants, or felt horribly embarrassed (It happens to the best of us.) But, practice makes perfect when it comes to weed, and as it becomes more and more legal, people are manning up and getting way better at smoking weed. In the last ten years, the amount of people who smoke weed has gone up 35%, but the amount of people who are abusing it has gone way, way down. So we are smoking more weed than ever, but doing it in moderation and not eating an entire loaf of weed garlic bread (like I did in college). And one of the reasons for this could be because more responsible adults are smoking the ganja. For the first time ever, your parents are more likely to smoke weed than you are. With senior citizens especially, weed smoking is up 333%. So continue to enjoy responsibly, everyone! Let’s all continue not peeing our pants.
Burning Man went out with a bang (and a burn) this weekend as people migrated slowly back to the Bay Area. But because some teenage girl decided to go missing right at the end of the festival, it took burners hours upon hours to leave the playa. Burners had nine hours to sit in traffic thinking about visiting the orgy dome while they waited to leave, which is plenty of time to let the regret build up. Of course, the girl was eventually found safe right on the playa, so the nine hour wait was all for nothing. But in general, this Burning Man was more violent than ever before because of an issue we’ve talked about before here on this show. Flower headbands can’t fix everything, and battle between new San Francisco and old San Francisco continued as burners attacked the brand new luxury camps that were set up for rich techies this year. While Burning Man is supposed to be about unplugging and living off of the love and the free trade, new luxury camps popped up this year for millionaires and billionaires where they could have full power lines, charging ports, cooks, builders, security, and allow jets to drop in for quick visits. But angry revolutionary burners raided the camp, stole things, pulled and sliced all of the electrical lines leaving leaving them with no refrigeration and wasting their food, and glued their trailer doors shut.
The 49ers have continued to prove they’re really good at making the news for anything BUT their actual football skills, and Tight End Bruce Miller has kept it classy by getting arrested for beating up an old man while he was belligerently drunk at a hotel. He apparently had been wandering around the Fisherman’s Wharf area, like most locals do on a Sunday night, and after a night of drinking decided he wanted to stay at the Marriot. He walked in and told the concierge he wanted a room, and they responded by telling him the hotel was booked, but that didn’t stop him from walking into someone else’s room and deciding ‘this is mine now.’ At that point, a little old man and his son were greeted by the giant drunken ginger man, and when they told him he had the wrong room he started beating the crap out of them. He was later caught on video throwing up, after which he was arrested and has been officially released by the 49ers. Damn! Another mediocre player gone! And of course, this story is still less popular than Kaepernick sitting down during the National Anthem. Here’s to good old-fashioned American values!
It’s dress code violation season. And this year, no one will escape the wrath of the rulers and the write-ups, no matter how old they are. And now that school’s been in session for two whole weeks, it’s about time a 9-year-old was sent home for dressing like a harlot. Yup, an elementary school student was just suspended because her clothes were too ‘form fitting.’ The clothes in question were a set of grey leggings and a Minnie mouse t-shirt that spelled LOVE on it. But that apparently is way too slutty for the teachers at this school, so she was yanked out of class. I will say, the shirt is a little small, but she’s also a kid and probably grows really fast and the parents haven’t gotten with the program. Regardless, they are outraged, making Facebook rants and accusing the school of body-shaming their daughter. Obviously it’s BS that she got pulled out of school, but these parents also sound super annoying. So who is the lesser of two evils? The teachers who won’t allow their students to wear skimpy Disney clothing? Or the parents who endlessly rant about body shaming on Facebook?
Science is always trying to break down just what makes us live forever, and every time a person gets over 100 years old they’re bombarded with annoying news anchors asking them just what their big secret is. And some attest that yoga and celibacy is the answer to a long life, but thankfully science has proven otherwise. They’ve taken some old people and studied their habits down to the last glass of prune juice and discovered that the real secret to a long life is rampant sex. Scientists studied the people currently living in a small village, where about 12% of the population are well over 100 years old and the town as a whole has an insanely long lifespan. Many of them seem immune to medical conditions like dementia and heart disease. They discovered most of them eat a healthy Mediterranean diet with olive oil, fresh fruit, veggies and fish. The other thing they discovered is that they all have an insane amount of sex.