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KKLive: Cat Ownership = Kinky Sex, An Ode To General Tso & More #Trendasaurus

Bad news. After learning pastweek that the creator of the Big Mac had passed away, we’ve now been hit with the news that the creator of General Tso’s chicken is no longer with us. The afterlife is sounding pretty delicious right now. Little known fact, he is not a general. His name is Peng Chang-kuei; he was a Chinese chef who moved to America and had trouble getting all of us fat Americans on board with his traditional Chinese food. So he decided to take a Chinese dish, make it sweeter and more fried, and see how us fatties liked that. And like it we did. Now it is the most famous Chinese dish in America and it is on almost every Chinese menu in the country.  He also lived to the ripe old age of 98, so it’s just another mastermind who created one of the fattiest dishes in America only to outlive most of his peers. Celebrate the life of Mr. Chang-kuei by eating some General Tso’s chicken. Then celebrate again 15 minutes later when you’re hungry again. Then 15 minutes later when you’re hungry, again. And again.

general tso KKLive: Cat Ownership = Kinky Sex, An Ode To General Tso & More #Trendasaurus

Mmm, a stoner’s paradise….

http://www.maxim.com/news/general-tsos-chicken-creator-dies-2016-12

I know cat-ownership and sex don’t exactly go hand in hand in most people’s eyes. Cat-ownership and virginity might go together a little better. But according to science it is quite the opposite. In fact, a recent study has shown that owning a cat makes you more likely to be into bondage and sadomasochism. As lame news headlines would say: MEOWCH! This isn’t some crappy online survey either, this was published in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology. And the reason is because cats give us a parasite that makes us horny. Cats have a parasite called Toxoplasma Gondii (T. Gondii) which gives us Toxoplasmosis, which makes us get sexually aroused by fear, violence, danger and sexual submission. So if you like being whipped with a ball gag, thank the cat which is probably watching you get tortured. Around a third of the world’s population has this parasite, so there are a lot of sadomasochists out there, all thanks to their cats. And you even catch it through your cat’s poop! So if you’ve got this parasite, you’re a sick person with cat poop on your hands. Congrats!

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/bondage-cat-reason-sadomachism-sex-toxoplasma-brain-parasite-a7447681.html

The San Francisco 49ers had yet another bad weekend in Chicago where they lost to the Bears 6-26. I’m sure it was hard for Kaepernick to kneel in the snow, but it was even harder for him to complete a pass. After completing only one, they decided screw it and put Blaine Gabbert in because hey, at least he gave us our ONE win this season. To make it even more embarassing, they got penalized for celebrating a touchdown that didn’t even count. They thought they scored a touchdown, which caused them to celebrate by making snow angels in the end zone, but they didn’t realize the runner had gone out of bounds and the touchdown was no good. Then they were promptly penalized for celebrating the no-touchdown. Ultimate embarrassment. But at least we’ve won one game this season. The only other team doing worse is the Cleveland Browns who are doing so bad that residents of Cleveland are planning a winless parade. If the team makes it through the whole season without winning a game, which has only happened one other time, a parade for the biggest losers in the NFL will take place. Will the parade route will be the same as the one for the Cavaliers?

San Francisco 49ers Commit Idiotic Excessive Celebration Penalty For Celebrating Touchdown That Didn’t Count

 

Kevin’s baby’s name is a good one, but you’d better believe it’s a popular one. There are going to be a shitload of Olivias in her kindergarten class. According to the new list of most popular baby names of 2016, Olivia came in third and was surpassed only by the old standards Emma and Sophia. But aside from those, which will always be at the top of the list, they’ve seen a huge spike in people naming their children and dogs after characters from Stranger Things. After seeing an increase last year in Game of Thrones names, this year the names Nancy and Dustin are up 32%, Lucas is up 25% and Wynona Ryder’s character Joyce is up 23%. They’ve also seen a 12% increase in the name Walker, from The Walking Dead. Meanwhile, in the pet world, the names Eleven and Barb have gone up 12%, and in general over 50% of pets are named after some kind of TV or movie character, or a current celebrity. So expect to see more dogs named Scorpion in the near future.

http://mashable.com/2016/12/03/stranger-thing-baby-dog-names-2016/?utm_cid=hp-h-9#AF_FmbKmvOqP

If an asteroid was really headed towards Earth, and life on this planet was compromised, what would be our protocol? How would we all be notified? What would we do first? This and many more questions have been answered by the people over at NASA and FEMA. They just did an elaborate staging of how things would go down if a giant asteroid was headed our way. The first thing they would do is text some scientists. Apparently that’s the best way to get a hold of someone without total panic ensuing They would send a text to twelve qualified scientists, who would then get to a telescope and start observing and doing all their science stuff to determine how big it is and when it si going to strike earth. If they determine that it will strike earth, they will notify the white house who will then issue a press release. But, because all of this scientist observation is done out in the open, people will likely get wind of this and talk about it online way before we hear about it in a press release. Basically any big news these days is going to come on twitter before it comes anywhere else, so if the end of days is really coming, you’ll probably hear about it on Reddit before you hear it from our President. But knowing our future president, he’ll probably just tweet out his speech.

http://mashable.com/2016/12/04/what-happens-killer-asteroid-strike/?utm_cid=hp-hh-pri#_yAyif3iEOqr

 

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