When the end of the world hits, you can either hone in on your post-apocalyptic skills you or you find a rich person and hide in their stocked underground bunker. Lucky for us, we live in the Bay Area and billionaire bunkers are all over the place. In fact, a new report says that over 50% of tech billionaires have some kind of escape home built or one that is currently being constructed. It is a trend in the community, but what are the tech billionaires afraid of? An asteroid hitting earth? Climate change? The coywolf? Actually, they are afraid of the very thing they’re inventing: Robots. They’re not necessarily afraid of a robot takeover or even the end of the world, but these billionaire “preppers” (including our friend Spez of Reddit) are doing so because they’re afraid technology will displace so many jobs that people are going to get red up and revolt against the wealthy. There will be no jobs left, we’ll be left angry and frustrated at people like Mark Zuckerburg and Elon Musk and we’re going to want to kill them all. And when that happens their richness will save them from our angry wrath. So if you’ve ever wanted to kill Elon Musk, know that he’s already one step ahead of you.
If there’s one thing we’ve learned in the last year it’s that sitting is the new smoking. It’s terrible for you, it can give you the diabetus, and even if you exercise it will not undo the damage of sitting like a lump behind a desk all day. It is now the fourth-leading risk factor for death, and now to make matters even worse new research shows that sitting is especially bad for women. It will age you. You might be caking your face with anti-aging cream every night, but as soon as you go to work and sit for 10 hours a day with little movement, you’re cancelling all that out. Women who sit for hours a day have cells that are biologically older than those who don’t. There’s how old you are and how old you look, and sitting can make you look a lot older. It can age women by as much as 8 years. So it really is the new smoking. Those crow’s feet aren’t from your late nights binge drinking at dive bars, it’s from going to your job the next day. So for the sake of your face, get up and walk around. Or quite your job and go old school by getting back in the kitchen or cleaning things.
Nowadays, when people make big life announcements, there is more pressure than ever to be “creative.” In other words, you can’t reveal that you’re engaged without carving it on a custom-made stone or drafting a fake headline in a newspaper. Same thing goes for baby announcements, and people are getting more and more creative not only with revealing pregnancies, but revealing a baby’s gender. You can’t just tell everyone “it’s a boy!” without creating a scratch-off card or baking it into a box of muffins. But now it’s…getting out of hand. This guy thought he was being creative by shooting his baby’s gender out of a rifle. He and his wife shot a loaded rifle at a target they rigged to explode with smoke that would either be blue or pink, depending on the gender. The problem is that THIS IS ILLEGAL and people called the police when they heard the explosion. This resulted in the Sheriff eventually giving them a citation because you can’t just make an exploding target and shoot at it without any permits. The baby way a boy, by the way.
Oh, IKEA. You can’t even make a Floogenl table anymore without it getting recalled. What is the world coming to? Gone are the good old days when people just accepted that fact that they might get murdered by their own furniture? Times are a changin’ and now one little dresser topples over onto a toddler and everyone freaks out. IKEA has recalled many products in the last couple of years including countless dressers, and now they’ve issued another large recall on orange and blue stripey beach chairs after many injury reports filed in. They’re urging anyone who purchased a Mysingso beach chair to return them by the end of the month to receive a full refund. The problem apparently is that the chairs can collapse underneath you which, while hilarious, can cause some serious injuries. Other injury reports said that the beach chairs were pinching their fingers. Which only happens with every other beach chair ever. If we’re recalling those, I would think every other collapsible chair in the world would need a recall. When you use those things, you understand you’re risking your fingers and possibly breaking your tailbone. So just accept the facts, take the risk and take a seat.
Collapsible chairs are more collapsible when you assemble yourself.